First off I felt like we were led to the decision we did regarding her surgery. But that didn't stop me from wondering if we were doing the right thing. So the day before the scheduled surgery I decided I better say one final prayer regarding the matter. I had been praying all along, but hadn't really put my heart and soul into it. I couldn't help but recall once in a Book of Mormon class at BYU I remember a teacher saying she had NEVER not received an answer when she asked for that answer to be given to her via the Book of Mormon. I can attest to that same thing, I've ALWAYS gotten direct, clear answers through those words. This moment was no different. I was told through the words of the scriptures that I had been guided to this decision, led to where we were at and that I knew it was the right way to go. Answer number one. End of fretting. Next issue. Part of Samantha's problems have included eating (nursing) ALL THE TIME. Literally around the clock, simply because she couldn't fill up her little tummy and with reflux it feels better to nurse so food is going down instead of up. After going through the motions of what was going to have to happen before surgery it dawned on me that from past experience you are not supposed to eat/drink anything after midnight the night before. With surgery scheduled for 8:15am I FREAKED. How in the world would this little baby going to handle that? I got right on the phone and asked if breast milk followed the same rules...they said it didn't, but she still had to go four hours without eating. I took a deep breath realizing how much better that would be than going all night, BUT was still concerned about the four hours looming ahead.
The night came with much anxiety. She went to bed as normal and slept really well. At four AM my alarm went off and I got up to feed her. She fed HORRIBLY. I started to get really anxious at that point because I knew that if she didn't eat well it was inevitably going to be the LONGEST four hours of my life! She went back to sleep, Andy and I got ready to go to the hospital. Once in the car she slept for a about 10 minutes and then woke up screaming as normal (she absolutely HATES the car). She cried for a good 20 minutes until we arrived at the hospital. One hour down 3 more to go. We parked the car, went into the hospital and got all situated in the room we were supposed to wait. Andy took Samantha because she was still crying and started walking her around. She fell asleep...and stayed asleep for the next 3 hours. Answer number two. Andy kept looking over at me and saying there must be an angel standing behind him because this was truly miraculous. And it was. She slept until we passed her over to the nurses to take her to the OR. (Note picture above)
There were several other small miracles but this one was a direct answer as it was my biggest concern. I know that we are watched over and I believe Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have a tender place for small children. I see prayers answered ALL the time regarding my children and I know it's because of His love for them.
Post surgery has to be the absolute WORST part. Any of you mothers that have experienced this know exactly what I mean. It's a feeling of absolute helplessness and as a mother that is Not fun.
So swollen with all those IV fluids in her little body.
She was so sleepy afterwards, which was a good thing.






2 comments:
Oh, break my heart. I hate seeing tiny little bodies with IVs. I'm glad everything went well and you all survived! Samantha is so sweet!
Thank you so much Tara! I know its almost 3 o clock in the morning but two of my babies are due to have surgery in about 4.5-5 hrs from now and I just can not rest! I can not feel peace and I have so much concern over whether or not we are making the right choice and for one of my children in particular. We have been through so many surgeries and and things and I dont know if its just knowing what we will be facing for the next while or if its a warning voice or what it is!!! But I know without a doubt I was led to your blog tonight and thus I found my answer...or at least the way that i needed to gain my own confirmation and I was also reminded of the Lords tender mercies he showers upon all of us and especially his tiny precious ones!!! I will be thinking of you much as we go through this whole ordeal in a few short hours and thank you for sharing your testimony and your experiences!!! I miss you tons and I hope that all is well for you and that your sweet little Samantha is doing better now and things are happy and well!!! Sure love ya!!!
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